Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Why Sisters Should Blog?

I am a BLOGGER and loving it!heart

I remember some years back when I first heard the word “blog” (not knowing what it was) I thought it was the UGLIEST sounding word that I had ever heard.  The word sounded like a cross between  a gooey thick slimy substance and a sci-fi alien creature.  For the life of me I could not understand WHY ANYONE would want to do something called.... BLOG!
Well after a quick investigation and short talk with a friend that actually had the nerve to call herself a BLOGGER; I stepped into the light and my eyes were opened to the fantastic world of BLOGGING!
It’s been two years since I created my first blog and quite frankly it didn’t start off feeling so liberating.  In fact, posting my first blogposts and sharing it publicly was a very uncomfortable and scary process for me.  I felt a myriad of emotions and had questions swirling in my mind from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other.  
After posting my first blog I remember thinking, “Should I have shared my thoughts in PUBLIC?  Why would anyone want to read something that I wrote? What will the people that know me think about my writing? What if some crazy internet stalker guy reads my email and makes it his mission to track me down in person?  Do you think... perhaps... Oprah will read it???
But how time and experience changes things! I am the biggest BLOG fan ever.  Instead of feeling a sense of fear and insecurity in sharing my thoughts with the world, I now look forward to it. So I listed below four reasons why I think that ALL women should blog.
Reason #1: The World Needs Our Voice!
As black women, we are always on the front lines of taking care of our families, building our communities and leading in our organizations. There is too much negative speak out in the media about us, our children and our community.  We can off-set the negatives by adding our powerful voices to the mix. Jesus teaches us in the scriptures that, "Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." It's very important that we share our perspectives and tell our story.  We have an opportunity to share our story and our truths with the world through blogging.  

Reason #2: Blogging Is Good For Your Health
I don’t have any studies, research or data to support my opinion that blogging is good for a woman’s health. However, I can personally attest that blogging has been a healthy, liberating, empowering and enjoyable experience for me. Blogging has been a therapeutic exercise for me to sort through my feelings, freely share my opinions, and release some my thoughts. This process has greatly impacted my emotional and physical health.  Instead of picking up those cookies for comfort-- now I pick up my laptop and start writing.

Reason #3: Blogging Prevents You From Blowing a Fuse
Ladies, I am telling you this can prevent you from cussing’ someone out!  Just a few weeks ago my teenage son made me so angry I felt like choking him—but ahhhhh—instead of inflicting violence on my beloved know-it-all-kid I wrote a blog.  Matter of fact, once I started writing the blog I realized that the incident that I was upset about wasn't actually that deep.  Blogging is a stress reliever for me. It works I tell you! IT WORKS!

Reason #4: Blogging Improves Your Sex Life
Nice thought right?! Okay I just threw that one in for good measure to check and see if you were still actually reading this blog.  But isn't that an interesting thought...I think that I am going to explore this topic a little further and let y‘all know the results!

Well those are a few reasons why I think ALL women should blog.  I am quite sure there are many great reasons that I would love to hear from my fellow BLOGGING sisters out there.  If you have a blog please send me a link.  If not, set up a blog and start sharing today!  

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Great Hair Offense

Today was an extremely traumatic day for me.  I went to the beauty shop to get a trim and I left the shop with the length of my hair being less than two inches long.   I was devastated!

Over the past few months I have noticed that my full, thick and lovely locks of hair have been shedding and breaking off by the handfuls.  I have always prided myself in having very kinky, thick and long hair but now I was facing the hair graveyard because of emotional stress, hair care neglect, harsh product experimentation, and the continual use of excessive heat.  All of these things finally pushed my (usually strong) kinky hair beyond her health limits.

My stylist explained that she would have to "trim my hair" substantially to get it back at a healthy state. I hesitantly agreed to move ahead with the hair care plan.  However, the moment she began to cut off my damaged tresses I began to feel a flood of emotions.

I wanted to yell, "Stop, please don't cut off my hair!" But I remained silent because I knew it was time for a cut.  She saw my distressed look and asked, "Are you okay?  Do you need some time before I go ahead with the cut?" I courageously looked her in the eyes and said, "No, it's okay. I am ready.  It's just hard for me to let it go but I know that it is time."

Then I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "Why have you been holding on to this damaged hair? Why is it so hard for you to let go? How did you let your hair get in this condition?"  
I was also hit with a revelation that in many ways I demonstrated that same laissez faire behavior in other areas in my life. More specifically, for the past year I have been working so much that I haven't been taking the time to handle my personal business.  Plus, unfortunately I have taken many of my personal gifts and attributes for granted.

As the stylist cut off my damaged tresses; a thousand thoughts flooded my mind.

snip...snip..."What if your hair doesn't grow back?  You know that you are getting older. Who will find you attractive?"

snip...snip... "Don't you know that a woman's hair is her glory? Didn't Samson in the bible lose his strength this way?"

snip...snip..."Don't you remember that the men in your life use to love your BIG hair? Remember.... when "he" use to love you and your hair."

Before the first lock of hair could even hit the floor the tears began to flow and the questions swirling in my head quickly transitioned into statements of doubt.

sniff...sniff... "I'm not pretty without my big hair. I need my hair to feel attractive.  My hair is my security."

sniff..sniff..."I was totally neglectful to the things that I loved and that's why they are gone.  I am being punished. "

sniff...sniff... "Hold on a minute...Is she REALLY going to charge me $200 for this??!!! My hair looks a hot MESS. "

On the surface level, it seemed like the emotional flood was only about my hair.  But I realized that my hair also told a story about who I have allowed myself to become.  My hair made a statement today.  Somewhere along my journey I became distracted from my self-care journey.
  • I use to be the sister that regardless of what hair style phase I was in at the time I made sure that the perm was touched up every 4 weeks, the kinky twists were done every two months and my hair was always well moisturized and "greased-up". 

Perhaps my hair condition is symbolizing  and offering a few life lessons:

Lesson #1   It's time to let damaged goods go in my life if it takes away from my overall health.  Damaged hair, damaged feelings, damaged relationships and damaged people.....

Lesson #2   It's important to give myself a healthy start and commit to self-care.  Whether that consists of scheduling consistent trips to the hair saloon, going to the doctor, getting massages, exercising, taking my vitamins, etc.  As the bible says, "You can't put new wine in old wine skins."

Lesson #3  It's important to make the time to take care of my personal needs.  This may mean taking an extra 20 minutes to lotion my body thoroughly after a shower, 15 extra minutes before bedtime for a nightly facial, 30 additional minutes in the morning for meditation, and 30 extra minutes of prayer.  I can give myself 2 hours a day.

Well, the one positive thing about today's traumatic hair experience is that I have shifted and adjusted my attitude.  LESSON LEARNED: It's important to take care of the things that you love.  I love my hair so I am committed to taking care of it from this point forward.  

Let me go now and find my silk hair bonnet....Good Night!

Monday, April 4, 2011

All My Sisterfriends Are Superheros

Well I guess the word is out...I can no longer keep it a secret that ALL of my sister friends are in fact--Superheros! Therefore, I must publicly acknowledge that I too am a member of a prestigious, phenomenal, justice loving, take-care-of-business, open society of diverse freedom fighters better known as Black Women.

I have personally witnessed the special abilities of these women to jump (in a single bound) over 5 flights of stairs to prevent a baby from falling, take care of 3 generations of family members simultaneously on one income, single handedly raise children with little to no financial support, give unconditional love to the unlovable, create businesses with only a wish and prayer, win legal cases that were considered "un-winnable", resuscitate and revive the spirits of husbands, lovers and friends, and encourage black children to believe in their greatness in the midst of negative environments and circumstances.    

These humble women have kept their personal superpowers a secret to avoid the extra attention and scrutiny. They disguise themselves as everyday workers, homekeepers, leaders, wives, mothers, daughters and friends but the TRUTH is that they each are far from being anything average.  These modern day (s)heros have extraordinary listening abilities, prophetic gifts, unceasing prayer skills, amazing healing powers, supernatural emotional strength, unlimited courage, built-in-human GPS navigation systems and the mastery of communication.  Additionally, they all have a special ability to multi-task; plus extra sensory perception that allows them to feel when their love ones are going "through something" even hundreds of miles away from home.

As part of the sisterhood,  I am bound not to reveal the identities of my super sister friends without permission. Therefore, in an effort to protect the privacy of the innocent I will only share the Superhero alter-ego names of a special group of my friends known as the Fantastic Five

#1. Tanzanite: As her name suggests she is a rare and indestructible gem.  She is remarkably strong, incredibly thoughtful, and amazingly dependable. She is highly communicative, extremely smart and a natural born leader. Her mission is to help 'Nspire and green the planet.
Voice Mobilization Power: She can inspire, encourage and move hundreds of people to action with her voice.
Quantam Transport: She can travel across the globe faster than the speed of light.  She has been spotted in 36 states and 13 different countries.  This sister is always on the move while doing something positive.
Last Sighting: She was last spotted at Twist in Buckhead with an uniquely handsome Haitian man and later that evening overheard planning for an upcoming Delta homecoming reunion.
WEAKNESS: Red Velvet Cake and Undependable people

#2. The Lioness: She's fierce, protective, imaginative and thoughtful. She is also remarkably strong and incredibly intuitive. She protects all the members of her pride with the fierceness of a lion(ess). She conquers new territory, discovers new lands, protects the weak, and organizes the strong and willing.  
Charismatic Magnetism : She attracts, wields and yields many forms of power. She is able to draw powerful people and resources to her pride through her magnetic personality, striking beauty and gift of charisma.  
Universal Energy Connector: She connects people and energy sources through her unique ability to mesmerize, negotiate, and persuade.   She has a strong intuitive ability to be decisive and is bold and daring in her leadership.
Last Sighting: She was last spotted riding in a super clean black corvette in Fayette county with  her "Lion" super hero and life partner. She was also spotted closing million dollar deals to help the poor areas in the City.  It was also reported that she once fearlessly stopped an "offender of justice" from closing down a local fire station through direct action. 
WEAKNESS: Anything ANTI-orange

#3. Knowledge Cypher:  This sexy heroine is the original protector and keeper of all Hip Hop knowledge and history. She's fiery, creative, outspoken and artistic.  She has an exceptional ability to give power to words and maintains a repertoire of thousands of movies, musicals and hip hop lyrics.  She has a special craft with language, superb intellectual abilities and is a natural born leader. 
Word Master: She can write and speak words that can make you scream, laugh, cry, smile, think, or break-out-in praise. She can equally throw some cut-to-the-bone choice words that will make you cover your ears, seek professional ego repair or call your mama for a hug.   
Exceptional Memory: At the drop of a hat this heroine can recall every musical note, beat and rhythm of musical greats like Miles Davis, Biggie Smalls, A Tribe Called Quest, Louis Armstrong, Erykah Badu, Nina Simone and Mary J. Blige. 
Last Sighting: She was last spotted at an art sanctuary in Philly and later that evening publicly reciting For Colored Girls That Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Was Enuf.
WEAKNESS: Booty Music disguised as Hip-Hop
#4. Madame Le Magnifique:  Magnificence is her formal name but this super heroine is the ultimate woman of mystique. She has the voice of an angel, the fierceness of a warrior, the ingenuity of a genius, and the cleverness of a black panther. She is not only a "Queen of the Talented" but she seeks out and mentors upcoming ladies-in-training for the Princess Kingdom Circle.  She has a sense of humor, serves as a gatherer of gifts and a outstanding nurturer.
Power of Persuasion: She has the gift to persuade people to operate at their highest level.  However, she doesn't take well to con-artists and game players.  She has been known to stop her adversaries in their tracks through an uncanny use of language, a unwavering gift of courage and (it's been reported ) that she is also a master in hand-to-hand combat. 
Gift of Song: As a songtress, this heroine has the special ability to calm distressed hearts, revive broken spirits and bring joy to those that listen to her sing.  
Last Sighting: She was last spotted in Tuscaloosa, Alabama recruiting potential super heroines to attend pre-Queen training. She was also later seen setting up a celluar phone business.
WEAKNESS: Untruthful people and bad customer service
#5.The Lightbearer:  This remarkable heroine serves as a bearer of light to help humanity connect to "the way". She is a wisdom seeker, truth speaker and devoted follower of the source of all life. She's compassionate to all (wo)mankind and a renowned caretaker of future black male generations of the world. She has superior intellectual abilities. She also has multiple gifts of foresight, insight, prophetic abilities, creativity and intuitiveness. She is a giver, a healer,  a lover and has the best legal mind in the universe. 
Extraordinary Wisdom: Like an ancient spiritual sage, she has the gift of insight.  She has been bestowed the special gift of wisdom from her Creator and is heavily anchored in her pursuit of truth, peace and justice.    
Creative Power: She is a visionary and has the supernatural power to speak words of healing, encouragement and the extraordinary ability to turn ideas into creative expressions and artforms. 
Last Sighting: She was last spotted with super hero "Profesor Black Liberation" and three beautiful male children on the way to a baseball field in southwest Atlanta. 
WEAKNESS: Uninformed medical professionals and zumba exercise tapes

I am confident that you know someone like these special friends of mine.  It's very likely you may actually know one of the Fantastic Five personally. You have probably talked with and walked by these inconspicuous (s)heros in supermarkets, school assemblies, boardrooms, church services, night clubs, courthouses, parks and/or concert halls.  Amazingly, there are thousands of sisters just like them out there!  This is just the tip of the iceberg in my own personal sister friend circles.

Most importantly, rest assured that the forces of evil are on notice and know that the world is a safer and better place because of these praying, praising, standing-in-the-gap and fighting-for-what-is-right women (s)heros. Now you know why I LOVE my Super Sisterfriends

(Stay tuned for future unveilings of more of my super-friends including the Fiery Four, the Sensational Six and the Talented Ten.

Peace, Love and Justice!