Pushing Past Fear

I WAS AFRAID! Fear gripped me by the throat, set root in my heart and would not let me go. A few weeks ago my home was burglarized and severely ransacked on all three levels.

My sacred spaces were invaded and vandalized   from top to bottom.  I felt violated and vulnerable because all of my personal belongings had been rummaged through by absolute strangers.  It felt as if my safety or comfort had been forever compromised.

Ironically, I accidentally caught the thieves in my home during the process of the robbery.  Upon returning from my Wednesday night bible study I saw one of the robbers tearing up my personal office as I drove into my garage.  This image in itself gave me an unsettling and vulnerable feeling in my spirit.

Many times in my life I have felt fear, however this incident seemed to shake me at the core of my being.  Unfortunately, this fear continued to linger for days and seemed to grow larger and larger each passing moment.  For more than a week, I hardly slept and found myself night after night tossing and turning.  I even began getting up throughout the night to investigate any small noises or any random sound in or around my home. 

I don't think that I realized how much the fear impacted my health until one morning I woke up with the entire right side of my body (from head to toe) in pain and stiff as a board.  I was hurting so bad that I  scheduled an appointment with my chiropractor for an emergency visit.

After examining my posture and spine, my chiropractor asked me what had I been doing differently that cause my back to get so out of alignment and my muscles so inflammed. I explained to him I had actually changed my sleep position in the bed so that I could 1.) hear if any intruder entered my home and 2) grab a weapon located near my bed to assail an intruder within a moment's notice. Suddenly, I  was always on guard.

Fear had interrupted my life...

Fear had stolen my security....
Fear had disrupted my peace...

Fear had disturbed my sleep...

Fear had me constantly on guard and unable to wind down either awake or during rest.... 

And now FEAR was starting to impact my health and quality of life! 

Unfortunately, by the end of the week the "fear" had grown so big that I along with my roommate left my house to sleep on the couch of a friend. I actually RAN AWAY from my own home. 

I am a single head of household and most of my close friends are married with courageous men helping to protect their homes; therefore  I felt at a major disadvantage and extremely vulnerable.  After the robbery my nerves were constantly on edge.

On one particular night my laptop computer was out of its' usual place and I became so fearful that I almost ran out of my house.  However, I called a girlfriend and she sent her husband and boys over to walk through my home and property. Because of the growing "fear" my life had become a living hell!

For days I cried out to God, "Lord, I just can't do this alone.  How am I suppose to protect my home and family from strange men all by myself? Lord, will you not send me my husband, a partner or some help?"

In an effort to re-establish some feeling of security, I decided to move back home once my security system was completely restored. However, on the scheduled repair date the home security company called me to cancel and pushed the repair date back 4 WHOLE days.  What was I to do now? Did I have to stay on someone's else's couch and/or get a room for the next 4 days? How could I feel safe? Didn't I need a man in the house? Lord, now what???

I was about to head towards a local hotel to check-in and work through this dilemma when I heard a voice in my spirit.  The voice gently asked me, "What are you afraid of?"  I knew exactly what I was afraid of but before I could answer or respond I heard the question poised a second time,"What are you afraid of?"  This time I knew that a surface answer would not be sufficient. I had to go deeper and really think about what I was afraid of and why I was afraid.

Just as God would have it I immediately reflected in my mind of His word and a saying of Jesus Christ found in Matthew 6:25-27~  “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Amazingly, the fear that had tortured me since the robbery left at that precise moment just as quickly as it had arrived.  Just the reflection and meditation on those (5) five words spoken by Christ, "Do not worry about your life.." changed my entire spirit and safety outlook. Fear was forced to flee!

The more I reflected and repeated God's word over and over again the more powerful and authoritative I felt.  I then turned my car around and headed straight for my home.

Up until that point I thought I would never feel safe in my home again unless I was protected by either 1.) a man, 2.) a gun and/or 3.) some fancy security system.  However, at that very special moment while riding in my car God taught me that He alone is perfectly capable of protecting me.  

 I Have Learned 5  special"Characteristics of Fear"

1.) Fear is like an imaginary monster.  It will take up shop and residence in your mind and continue to grow and grow and grow as long as you feed it a healthy meal of doubt, negative thoughts, and the illusion of being separated from God's love.

2.) Fear is like an unhealthy or poisonous meal. Fear will actually make you physically sick if you digest or absorb it in your mind, body and spirit. Fear is unhealthy.

3.) Fear overtime will become a personality or constant companion. However, if you speak God's word aloud to the fear and command it to leave...it MUST obey!

4.) Fear is like a bully. That is why running from fear does not solve the problem. You have to put up your dukes, face fear head-on and claim your peace with authority. You must be willing to fight through the thoughts. Half the battle is showing up for the fight; your Daddy will do the rest.

5.) Fear is like a illusionary magic trick.  I once saw on a bumper sticker that Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. This is so true.  Fear can NEVER  trump the love of GOD! For there is nothing separates us from the love of God.

God teaches us in His word that we are to fear NO ONE but God.  I think I finally came to understand that there is no man that is courageous enough, no weapon strong enough or no circumstance great enough that can protect me more than my Father GOD!

NOW Psalm 27 has a radically new meaning for me  
The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life;

Of whom shall I be afraid?...

Missing Queen B: Why I Love Bridget Woods

There are some souls that come to the earth only for a short time but take on the form of an angel that enriches the lives of others... Bridget Woods was one of those special people.  

If you are from Selma, Alabama and ever rode down Range (Marie Foster) street in the past 20 years, I am quite sure that you should have at least on one occasion gotten a glimpse of this beautiful young woman sitting on her front porch on the corner of Philpot Avenue and Marie Foster. 

I always thought of Bridget as the neighborhood watcher or the "Queen of Range Street." Although it was years ago, it feels like only yesterday that I remember seeing this pretty little chubby girl with  two long ponytails sitting on the porch eating ice cream while swinging her feet and simultaneously watching all the happenings on the block.  This was Bridgett.......She never missed a beat.

Years later when Bridget became a teenager, I was blessed to work closely with her and she quickly became one of my special "babies" in a youth group called SHIPP Ahoy ~ an acronym for Sisters High in Pride and Potential. And Bridget she was just that.... ALWAYS high in self-love, pride and potential.

Sadly, last week in the wee hours of the night as she rested in her bed she became a victim to senseless violence in the form of a drive-by shooting.  This beautiful and cheerful angel of a young woman left this earth much too soon.  There have been hundreds of lives touched by her bright smile, wise advice,  infectious laughter, witty jokes and kind heart. 

There are no words that can explain how I feel about the loss of Bridget.  I am not sure if I have even wrapped my mind around what has happened to someone so kind and giving.  It is impossible for me to capture and write all I feel or think about "my baby" in this blog.  She called herself  "Ms. Queen B" and that is exactly who she was~~ a queen in every sense of the word.  Below are just a few thoughts that I wanted to share that remind me of Bridget. 

A Devoted Mother   (Proverbs 31:2 (a) "Her children rise up and call her blessed;")

There were so many things that I admired about Bridget, however what I admired most was her commitment and devotion as a mother. Although Bridget wasn't the biological mother of her daughter I can attest that she loved that child since she was a little baby.  Even as a 19-20 year old woman, Bridgett had enough insight, compassion and love in her heart to volunteer to raise and care for the baby of a young mother that battled with personal problems.  Bridget nurtured, cared and loved her God-given daughter for 11 glorious years.   

Bridget ALWAYS bragged and talked about "her baby girl Keria."  Bridget was much more than a biological mother... she was Shekeria's appointed and anointed mother by God. She took her role as Keria's mother seriously and with much pride. I absolutely adored their relationship.  They had a special mother-daughter connection and adoration for each other.  They were both a tremendous blessing to each other.      

A Natural Comedian (Proverbs 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.)

She made us laugh and even "cracked us up" with her funny jokes, quick witted responses and sometimes even hilarious snide remarks. Armed with the gift of gab, she could respond to any smart remark or unsolicited joke in 2 seconds flat with witty and descriptive words. Bridget could take on the best jokers  and turn their own joke around on them with the quickness. When I first met Bridget I thought she was shy in the crew but I quickly realized that in fact she was the life, laughter and love of the party.  

Queen "B"had style 

"Hair did, nails did, errything did!" Queen B was the epitome of a hair diva.  Out of all of the years that I have known Ms. Bridget I can't recall a single time that Bridget's hair wasn't fresh and stylish.  'Narry a hair was EVER out of place!  Pin-ups, pin curls, crinkle ponytails, etc.....I can tell you this ~ Bridget could have been a Bonner Brothers' model for the national hair shows in Atlanta. 

Whether it's in the morning, evening or night.....Ms. Bridgett Woods always had that hair did (Yes, I meant to say DID!)  It was always fried, dyed and ALWAYS flipped or pinned up  to the side. (smile)

A Friend and Protector (Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.) Bridget touched so many people in her circle of family and friends through her love and friendship. When I lived in Selma, Bridget and I worked together at the Youth Opportunity Center.  She ALWAYS had my back.  She was dependable, trust-worthy and always loyal.

Those of us that were blessed to know and become friends with Bridget knew that she was an angel.  She was very protective and loyal to her family and friends.  She loved everyone unconditionally and always made herself available to give sound advice, cheer someone up or to encourage those she loved. She will be missed but NEVER forgotten. We will cherish and celebrate our memories. Thanks Bridget for just being YOU!!!

Life is But Stopping Place

Life is but a stopping place,

A pause in what's to be,

A resting place along the road,

to sweet eternity.

We all have different journeys,

Different paths along the way,

We all were meant to learn some things,

but never meant to stay...

Our destination is a place,

Far greater than we know.

For some the journey's quicker,

For some the journey's slow.

And when the journey finally ends,

We'll claim a great reward,

And find an everlasting peace,

Together with the lord

–Author unknown

It's Fall!

Greetings Friends,

Happy Fall Season!  It's been a long time since I posted a blog.  I pray that you're enjoying this beautiful Fall Season. The past few months have been full of many transitions for me so I haven't taken the time to write a lot.  I just want to let each of you to know that I am getting back into my creative writing groove and will be in full force within the the next few weeks.  I have sooooo many lessons and MUCH to share. Stay tuned!!  Holla at you later!!!  

How Do You Treat American Workers?

"Labor Day was made a national holiday in 1894 by President Grover Cleveland. After a number of deaths in 1894, workers went on strike in support of this holiday. The holiday pays tribute to the achievements of American workers. Today, Labor Day is used as the official last weekend of summer."

For many of us, Labor Day marks the last official weekend of the summer and gives us a piad holiday off of work. However, the foundation of this holiday was laid by American workers that were tired of working in oppressive, unsafe and unfair working conditions.  Since the Industrial Revolution American workers have been exploited, abused and misused for the sake of making a profit. As a worker in America, I am very grateful to those that laid the foundation.

Over the years the "Corporate Citizen" has gained far more legal rights in America than everyday working people. Any student of history knows that there has been a long history of struggle between American workers and the large corporate interests. If this is news to you please see the movie by Michael Moore called The Corporation. You can visit the website at http://www.thecorporation.com.

Today as I was reflecting on how laborers and workers are valued and treated in my own community I had a few thoughts that made me go "Hmmmm......"  Ironically, I have concluded that the ACTUAL problem in valuing American workers is perhaps not rooted in a "grand corporate conspiracy" but perhaps it an outgrowth of Americans' inability to value each other and/or human rights.  Overall, I think labor injustices are simply reflective of our overall devaluing and marginalizing of the human beings and the human spirit in our culture. 

What's the real value of a worker?

Not too long ago I went to dinner with a co-worker that was outright rude to our server.  When the server got a portion of the order wrong it became a reflection of his intellect-- My coworker commented,"He's so stupid."  When he got the manager to come out to correct the issue it became a battle of power-- My co-worker then said,"He knew I wasn't to be played with?" Even when the dude tried to make amends by bringing a free desert the only thing my coworker could state was, "Why did he assume that I wanted THIS particular desert?"  

How many times HAVE YOU completely disregarded a workers' ability and/or gave them the opportunity to correct a mistake before yelling, "I want to see your manager right now?"

How many times HAVE YOU been served and taken care by hotel staff, restaurant workers, sanitation workers, cab drivers, checkout clerk, etc. and never felt the need to acknowledge their presence, nor say "hello" or "thank you" or even leave a tip in appreciation of their service?

How many times HAVE YOU gotten angry with the drive-thru window worker for getting your order wrong when you KNOW you changed your mind AND your order at least 5 times? Heck....wouldn't you be confused too?! 

LIFE LESSON: It's easy for us to hold people accountable for what WE think they should be doing.  How about.....BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE!

Do Social Justice Organizations and Activists practice what they preach?

A few years ago I participated in a demonstration in support of "mandatory health care access" at a state capitol.  As I stood there chanting and raising my protest sign I was approached by a Republican law maker. He walked up to me and calmly said, "Why are you out here protesting? I bet your organization doesn't even provide health insurance for you." 

My initial thought was to "cuss him out" but the truth of what he said actually hit me like a ton of bricks. The fact was I worked for a medium sized organization and neither I nor my child had health coverage.  My job didn't offer it for my family nor could I afford it with my salary as an organizer.  However, the leadership of the organization that I worked for actually HAD health coverage for themselves. 

LIFE LESSON: It is sometimes easy for us to point the finger at "corporate America" but many social justice activists and organizations have not adopted the very principals they are suppose to be standing for. In short...SOCIAL JUSTICE IS NOT A POSITION IT IS A PRACTICE & PRINCIPAL FOR ALL.

Is the ONLY requirement for a black community-owned business "designation" is that the owners are Black? 

This topic is so intense and deep to my heart that I feel it righteously deserves its own blogpost!  But for the sake of this writing, I will try to make my point short and sweet. I know some of y'all ain't gonna like what I am about to say but this is what I truly feel....

After Hurricane Katrina, I started organizing resources to send to the impacted communities in the gulf coast.  The only businesses that told me flat out "NO" were black professional businesses.  However, the local Mom and Pop stores would offer and provide whatever little resources they had to the effort.  Individuals and churches in the community also offered support in droves.   I am NOT saying that black professional businesses did not provide help in the Katrina efforts.  There were many, many black businesses that helped the efforts. But what I AM saying is that the only time I ran up against this "poor people need to pull themselves up by the bootstraps" attitude it came from black middle class professionals.  

LIFE LESSON: Don't forget from whence the road you came by...YOU MAY NEED HELP ONEDAY TO PREVENT GOING THAT SAME WAY AGAIN! 

Peace and Blessings,

LaTosha

Loving Your Enemies

Matthew 5:43-44
“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!

Recently I posted a bible verse on my FaceBook page that instructs Christians to love our enemies and pray for those that despitefully use us.  In a matter of seconds of posting this verse, I received several "I likes" and personal comments from my FB friends about this particular expectation of a Christian.

I was particularly struck by a comment written by one of my good friends. He essentially stated that "loving his enemies" was not something that he could do. Matter of fact he went on to state that what he really wished and wanted for his enemies could not be stated in a public space like FB.(smile)

I appreciated my friend's honesty and frankness.  At some point we all have felt like my friend in our lives.  I think it's a normal human reaction to be angry when we are faced with circumstances created by people in our lives that betray, lie, misuse and/or abuse us.

However, this particular verse is one of my favorites in the bible.  For me, the beauty of this bible verse is that it forces each of us to tap into our higher selves. Loving someone that has tried to "do you in" requires one to access love on a higher level! It takes FAR more spiritual muscle and strength to love someone that has done something hurtful to you.  I mean-- you have to reach WAAAAYYY down in your spirit to pull on the power of love! WHEW!!

A couple of years ago, after experiencing a personal betrayal it was revealed to me that "loving your enemies" is really an opportunity for us to grow spiritually and experience unconditional love.  This particular aspect of love blesses the individual through the process and sends healing energy to those that have hurt us deeply. 

Praying for those that "despitefully use you" also forces each of us to move outside the "ego" and tap into the part of our human spirit that is filled with compassion, love and forgiveness. Ultimately, I feel that the Christian charge to"love your enemies" is also a reminder that we are all humans that "fall short of the glory of God" but redemption and forgiveness is always accessible, available and possible through Jesus Christ.

It's easy to love someone we like.... but it takes TRUE spiritual grounding to sincerely love someone that we feel has wronged us. I think "loving your enemies" is the essential foundational belief that framed the civil rights movement in this country. Unfortunately, I have seen this "loving your enemies" be exploited and misrepresented--but I'll deal with that in another blog! 

I really think the core lessons of the civil rights movement were lost in the historical translation and playback of events.  The movement wasn't about "black folks liking white folks" or vice versa.  This was a "love movement" that was grounded in accountability, forgiveness, and redemption!  

Love isn't about our personal likes and dislikes of other people or disappointments with others--but ultimately we are spiritually charged by God to love every human being unconditionally!

What would the world look like if we ALL loved each other unconditionally???????  Each day God is molding me and teaching me that it's truly...

 "ALL About Love"

Standing In Awe of God

The past two weeks have been such a whirlwind for me.  I am so in awe about how God can change your life in the blink of an eye.  Of course, with all the blessings that I have received throughout my life I should be use to the miraculous powers of God..but I am always in AWE!

2011 has been such an intensely emotional year for me.  I have finally accepted that I can be a very intensely emotional person. (Well I am a scorpio)  I have always rejected this fact about myself but I am finally convinced that there is a lot of truth in it--at least as it relates to me.  Sometimes in the same day I have felt loved, hurt, protected, betrayed, deceived, encouraged, attacked, embraced, misunderstood, supported, etc.  On those days, I usually get caught up in a cycle of responding to my emotions. This can be an extremely draining and tiring process.

On last Tuesday, I had one of my most emotional days this year.  The first part of the morning I was feeling very good about a recent accomplishment and then out-of-the-blue I received a very troubling email from a co-worker that made me feel hurt and betrayed.  Throughout the day I experienced a series of calls that made my emotions bounce up and down. This continued throughout the evening and later that same night around 1:00 a.m. I experienced feelings of sadness about a personal desire that did not manifest.  Yet three minutes later at 1:03 a.m. my emotions shifted again as I got some very exciting and promising news.

Now as I reflect on that particular day, I realize that I can no longer allow my emotions to take me on a rollar coaster ride nor control of my life.  I truly believe that the purpose of our emotions is to help heighten our awareness through our feelings but instead I have found myself trying to cater to the emotions.

I also realize that the best approach to life is to feel the experience, learn from it and keep moving forward.   Sometimes we choose to stay in a particular emotional state so that we can try to manipulate God's will in our lives.  For example, we will hold on to hurt and anger so God can "punish" those people that we feel have done us wrong.  We will also hold on to special memories from our past relationships although God has given us clear signs to let it go.  We will even work to sabotage our own progress so we won't have to be accountable to God for operating in our power with the gifts He has given us.

The AWESOME thing about God is that He is not controlled by our emotional state. God will give us grace and favor even when we are in our darkest moments.  God can give us our greatest personal challenge even when we feel we are on top of the world.  God will even bring us unspeakable joy in the midst of a painful and difficult circumstance.  My point is that God's AWESOMENESS is greater than our emotions.  Our emotions should not be running things...for it is God that is in control. 

Well, I will close now because I preparing for a trip to DC to receive an award at the White House!  This is a blessing for me and I am extremely excited and honored by this opportunity.  However, I am more grateful to God for teaching me how to put all of the things of this world in perspective. He is teaching me everyday that my value is not how others see me but is an inherent gift in being a child of God. 

Most importantly, God is teaching me how to love myself as He loves me---unconditionally.

I will tell you this...if God never does another thing for me... He has done enough already to be worthy of my praise!! All praises to the Most High!

Stay Tuned and Be Blessed!

LaTosha

      

Am I A Christian???

The other day I was talking to an ex-boyfriend that was talking about his former relationship with another woman and his description of her was "She is a Christian lady." This already difficult conversation (since this is someone that I still have feelings for) and statement hurt me to the core because it seem to imply that the new woman was something that I was not.  I thought to myself, "Did he not think I was a Christian lady too? Am I not a good Christian? More importantly, is God pleased with me?"  

Although the statement bruised my "spiritual" ego it also caused me to reflect on what it means to be Christian.  It also made me think about how do I demonstrate my walk with Christ in my personal and professional life. Years ago I thought being a Christian meant being religious.  When I first gave my life to Christ I was on constant "hallelujah" auto-play with everyone I met.  I consistently talked only about the scriptures, preached to everyone I knew, submerged myself in the studying of the word and listened only to gospel music.  

One of the most important revelations during this period of discovery was that I realized that being Christian meant more than the outward appearance.  It was more about being a true follower of Christ's teachings. This is why I absolutely love the ministry of Jesus Christ! Unlike the Sadducees and Pharisees (the religious scholars that were caught up in rituals and the law) Jesus taught his followers to develop a deeper and personal relationship with the God.   

Jesus was constantly challenged by religious leaders during his walk on the earth.  Many leaders of the law accused Jesus of blasphemy and called him a fake, heretic, liar, and even a demon ruler! Jesus even had to defend himself to the religious teachers in Matthew 5:17.  He stated, “Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to fulfill it."

I certainly desire to strengthen my faith and walk in Christ and so I am constantly pressing to become a better believer.  Perhaps I needed to hear that statement so that I could rededicate myself and refocus on strengthening my faith.  Perhaps I needed to be motivated to seek the scriptures for new revelation and direction.  Perhaps I needed to hear that statement to remind me of what I do not want to become.  Because I know one thing for sure...I dont want to be religious; I want to be like Christ.

We are all spiritual beings having a human experience.  As the bible says, "We all fall short of the glory of God" but the wonderful thing is that He gives us a daily opportunity to receive a fresh anointing. I will continue to stand on the scriptures as my guide and below I have listed some of my favorite verses.  I pray that God continues to give me the strength, revelation, discipline and courage to follow the true teachings of Jesus Christ.  I hope these scriptures bless you like they have blessed me.

John 10:27

 ²⁷My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:

John 13:34-35

³⁴ A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. ³⁵ By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Luke 16:14-15

 ¹⁴And the Pharisees also, who were covetous, heard all these things: and they derided him.

 ¹⁵And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.

Luke 4:18

¹⁸ “ The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me,
       Because He has anointed Me
      To preach the gospel to the poor;
      He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,^[a]
      To proclaim liberty to the captives
      And recovery of sight to the blind,
      To set at liberty those who are oppressed;

Peace, Love and Blessings!