Sunday, February 14, 2010

Swimming to the Surface

I am a Scorpio. Anybody that knows me or anything about Scorpions will know that we have the propensity to be very intense, introspective and extremely passionate.

I personally like those aspects about my personality because I am not afraid of self-exploration or admitting my mistakes. I also don't mind going deep emotionally or psychologically. However, today as I was talking with one of my fellow Scorpio friends I became amazed at how he had completely "over-analyzed and over-thought" a particular situation in his life. As a result of his over analysis, I felt he was over-critical of himself.

For over an hour I patiently listened to him on the phone express the many ways he could have handled a particular situation differently. I thought to myself, "He is going just TOO deep. Some things are just NOT that deep." I witnessed him diving deeper and deeper into an emotional abyss that caused me to become self-reflective of my own Scorpio behavior. Through my friend's experience, I actually got a rare opportunity to see a bird's eye view of my own thought processes when I go " TOO DEEP".

As he continued to talk, I began to visualize a deep sea diver that was in the middle of a vast blue ocean swimming as fast as she could towards the ocean floor. Then I thought to myself, "Do I handle situations this way? When dealing with challenging issues do I go THIS deep? In all honesty, I had to answer a resounding YES. I know that I am notorious for taking an idea, issue and/or situation and analyzing it to the infinite power! My active mind can take thoughts into infinity, if I let it. Sometimes I get "SO deep" that my original thought will morph into something distinctively different.

After my friend finished his story, I came out of my visual trance and said to him, "Why are you going so deep? Do you know that the bottom of the ocean cannot support any life forms nor is there a presence of light? Any experienced diver knows that the bottom of the ocean floor is dead. So why do you continue to emotionally dive into deep water that can't sustain life? My only advice to you is to swim back to the surface and catch a breath of air... you know....a second wind." That advice was for both of us.

My friend responded by saying, "Tosha, perhaps you are right. Sometimes I think I can go too deep in an effort to try to understand what is really going on. I like to know what is happening around me." Well, I certainly understand where he was coming from- being that I am also an experienced deep sea emotional diver. As stated earlier, I am a true Scorpio.

This simple exchange with my friend led to a better understanding of myself. I discovered that while I share his same passion for understanding I also share the same disability to over-analyze certain situations. Don't get me wrong, I think sometimes certain situations require a deeper understanding. I also think it is important to encourage those around you to go deeper that would otherwise only like to play in the shallow waters.

Everything in life is about balance. Today I realized that at times I am so focused on going deep and deepen in my understanding that I forget that I am headed towards the bottom of the ocean (which is a dark and life-less place). Maybe the point of life isn't how deep I can go, but maybe it is about enduring the swim. I finally understand that it is okay to swim to the surface. Being deep doesn't necessarily mean being right.

Toshaism for the Day: Sometimes you NEED to swim to the surface just to get a little air and feel the sunlight on your face. Sometimes things are REALLY as they seem to be........nothing more and nothing less. No deep analysis needed! It just IS.

So with long and clean breaststrokes....... I am swimming to the surface!


Deborah said...

Test #3

Deborah said...

LaTosha, Thank you for sharing your adventures and your musings with the world. You are an inspiration to Sistah's ( & others) who are struggling to find our voices, pick up our pens, paints, cameras, leotards, microphones, and journals. As you continue to write your books and share your gifts with the world, remember that you are a true story teller and have a gift of sharing your travels, insights and life lessons in such a way that they speak to all of us. Please continue to write, continue to travel and conttinue to share yourself through your gifts. You can write a whole book on "Toshism's"! As we prepare to wait in the lines at Borders and Barnes & Noble for your books, continue to share your pink butterfly dreams, thoughts and writing through your blog. Write On!!!

Leah W. said...

LaTosha, the bottom of the ocean is NOT dead. It's full of life, even tho there is no light. Apparently, this is a relatively recent discovery. Want more surprises, check out the cuttlefish.
I love that you are writing.
Lotsa love,