The past two weeks have been such a whirlwind for me. I am so in awe about how God can change your life in the blink of an eye. Of course, with all the blessings that I have received throughout my life I should be use to the miraculous powers of God..but I am always in AWE!
2011 has been such an intensely emotional year for me. I have finally accepted that I can be a very intensely emotional person. (Well I am a scorpio) I have always rejected this fact about myself but I am finally convinced that there is a lot of truth in it--at least as it relates to me. Sometimes in the same day I have felt loved, hurt, protected, betrayed, deceived, encouraged, attacked, embraced, misunderstood, supported, etc. On those days, I usually get caught up in a cycle of responding to my emotions. This can be an extremely draining and tiring process.
On last Tuesday, I had one of my most emotional days this year. The first part of the morning I was feeling very good about a recent accomplishment and then out-of-the-blue I received a very troubling email from a co-worker that made me feel hurt and betrayed. Throughout the day I experienced a series of calls that made my emotions bounce up and down. This continued throughout the evening and later that same night around 1:00 a.m. I experienced feelings of sadness about a personal desire that did not manifest. Yet three minutes later at 1:03 a.m. my emotions shifted again as I got some very exciting and promising news.
Now as I reflect on that particular day, I realize that I can no longer allow my emotions to take me on a rollar coaster ride nor control of my life. I truly believe that the purpose of our emotions is to help heighten our awareness through our feelings but instead I have found myself trying to cater to the emotions.
I also realize that the best approach to life is to feel the experience, learn from it and keep moving forward. Sometimes we choose to stay in a particular emotional state so that we can try to manipulate God's will in our lives. For example, we will hold on to hurt and anger so God can "punish" those people that we feel have done us wrong. We will also hold on to special memories from our past relationships although God has given us clear signs to let it go. We will even work to sabotage our own progress so we won't have to be accountable to God for operating in our power with the gifts He has given us.
The AWESOME thing about God is that He is not controlled by our emotional state. God will give us grace and favor even when we are in our darkest moments. God can give us our greatest personal challenge even when we feel we are on top of the world. God will even bring us unspeakable joy in the midst of a painful and difficult circumstance. My point is that God's AWESOMENESS is greater than our emotions. Our emotions should not be running things...for it is God that is in control.
Well, I will close now because I preparing for a trip to DC to receive an award at the White House! This is a blessing for me and I am extremely excited and honored by this opportunity. However, I am more grateful to God for teaching me how to put all of the things of this world in perspective. He is teaching me everyday that my value is not how others see me but is an inherent gift in being a child of God.
Most importantly, God is teaching me how to love myself as He loves me---unconditionally.
I will tell you this...if God never does another thing for me... He has done enough already to be worthy of my praise!! All praises to the Most High!
Stay Tuned and Be Blessed!
LaTosha
