She loved him -- magnanimously. But it was too much. Like
a cancer, this love spread throughout her entire body and permeated every limb,
every organ, and every cell.
It seemed like her unbridled love for this man was
a part of her cellular make-up; perhaps it was encoded in her DNA. She felt like her love for him was the oxygen
in her blood that fed her cells and flowed freely through her veins; racing
towards her heart.
Unfortunately, it was this same love
that ran him away. She didn’t fully understand it’s power at the time so she
gave it to him unceasingly and without restraint; never realizing that the
power of the gift was just too much for him to handle. In fact, the truth is it became too much for them both.
This love was like a wild fire that
needed to be monitored and contained and not to be left alone unattended. She welcomed it’s consuming power, however he knew that he had to get out before the love flames
spread to the dry areas of his broken spirit.
He wasn’t quite ready for the flames to mix with the dry residue of his
anger, pain and fears. He needed to hold on to
the residue because it seemed to remind him of the dark spaces in life. Ironically, it was the familiarity of the
dark spaces that made him feel comfortable and safe.
Her love had become too intense and he
had no desire to be over taken by it’s heat. This man had already had his share
of heartbreak and burn wounds caused by love and failed relationships. Therefore, he cornered a part of his heart,
installed special fireproof walls and tried his best to protect himself from
her flames. There was no way that he would be smitten by love again.
On the other hand, she deeply desired
to feel the warmth and comfort their love provided; she loved the light it
created in the dark and lonely moments and she loved the intensity
of their passion. Ironically, the more heat they generated together the greater
her desire was to surrender to its’ flames. She appreciated the intensity of love. She longed for it; he feared it.
After the third attempt their love fire finally reached its’ peek and
she gladly took off all of her clothes, oiled down her body for the experience
and jumped nakedly into the core center of the flames. However, for some unstated reason he changed his mind right before the jump, made a 180 degree turn and
left her at the scene alone once more--without even a conversation.
She was terribly embarrassed as
she stood there for the third time being rejected by the same man during the same
time of year as the other two previous times. Why had she believed him again? When would
she let it go and move on? Unfortunately, she now found herself completely naked, with third degree burns
on her heart, a singed spirit that reeked the smell of fear, and in more
emotional pain than any flame should ever inflict on one soul.
To make matters worst, when he left
her for the third time he took back all of his love and
unintentionally carried a little bit of hers away as well. Had she not learned her lesson from the two
prior attempts at love with and for this man? Did she think that love made her
invincible—a Superwoman of sorts—or even fireproof?
Although she was overcome by the embarrassment of her third folly she
decided to completely surrender to the power of love's fire she felt shut up in her
bones. Ironically, she discovered that being consumed by love wasn’t as bad as
she originally thought; although there were consequences that didn't always feel good. Through the process she actually discovered that the
burning away of one’s fleshly desires the soul and spirit could actually be
released.
She accepted that this process of
love was perhaps designed by a higher force and higher power for the purpose of
consuming the dry and barren emotional areas in her life in preparation for new life. She often jokingly referred to these areas as the Valley of the
Dry Bones. In fact, she discovered that she was a genuine superhero that was
only being trained, molded and shaped by this love fire that caused her seven
years of excruciating pain.
Ironically, out of the residue of her pain and broken spirit she
actually began her transcendence to a higher love. This new love gave her
permission to follow her dreams, embrace her gifts and most importantly, honor herself. She could now rise up from the ashes of her extinguished past love
fire and soar to higher heights. She
welcomed the journey. She had become the Phoenix.
*Photo CREDITS: The Phoenix above was created by artist Nela. You can find her work at http://neladunato.com/illustration/phoenix/
*Photo CREDITS: The opening feature photo was created by an artist named John Holyfield @ www.holyfieldstudio.com/
